Stuff You Should Know – Making Your Life Easier – How To


A Cheat-Sheet For Life
Seems like people with blogs fall into one of two categories. Those who love lists, and insist that every post is a list. And those who avoid lists like the plague. Other than one or two, so far there’s been little list-love on this blog. But later this week my personal clock goes forward another year (crumbs), and it seems as fitting time as any to fire up a bit of list-action. Whilst the road has hardly been figured out yet (seems like quite the opposite in recent months), there’s a few things that have stuck so far and that I try to keep in mind.So here’s my cheat-sheet for life, with literal examples and metaphors, and in no particular order. Many of these came about during the Vague Direction bicycle journey, and many of these inspired it. It was going to be a list of ten but grew to a list of thirty-plus. Once you pop it’s tricky to stop. Of course it’s a case of different strokes for different folks, but these are the most valuable, honest points I can think of. Maybe you can use some of them or share them with someone who could. If not, look at number 10 and throw this post in the bin.

1) There’s never a right moment. Don’t wait for all the cards to line up or for things to settle down. If you want it but don’t have the time, then find the time by eliminating other, less-worthy parts of the day. Creativity is boosted through constraint so if you really don’t have much time, make use of the little time you can make. (Age is no excuse).

2) But remember to sleep. Don’t kill yourself. Sleep 8+ hours a day. Sleep as many hours as you need to to catch up. You won’t be as snappy, you’ll be more productive, more creative, have a better immune system, and be happier.

3) If you’re not happy, change things. If you don’t change things, then of course you won’t get happier, and if you can’t change things, see #1.

4) Flying too low is just as risky as flying too high. Icarus’ dad made him some wings, and told him not to fly too close to the sun. Icarus flew too high, the wax melted, and he fell to his death. Hardly anyone mentions that Icarus was also warned about flying too low. Flying too low was just as dangerous as flying too high, because seawater would ruin the lift in his wings. Metaphor over. Flying higher is better than flying lower.

5) Say yes to the things that scare you. The riskiest route we can take is to play it safe. If anything makes you anxious, it probably means it’s something you should face. Nervous? Shy? Introverted? Good. Crush your nerves by going on live TV and you’ll laugh at your anxiety once it’s done. Or something else scary. You can only grow as a person, and you can only broaden your comfort zone, if you seek out and embrace risk and discomfort.

6) Say no too. Say no when you can’t bring value. Be aggressively selective. Many loss leaders are all loss, no lead. Make sure there’s batteries in your BS alarm.

7) Make new stuff, and make it personal. Doing something creative, making something, building something is the easiest way out of a rut. When something flops, work on something new. Maybe next time it will work. And when something goes well, ignore the hype and avoid the ego by consistently making something new. The best way to get your ideal gig is to set yourself a dream brief again and again. Publish, publish and publish your personal work until a decision-maker notices.

8) Be honest. Blogs, writing, any creative work – it’s always better when it’s honest. Even if you’re worried you’re putting too much on the line. You should get scared before hitting publish. That’s a great sign. Writing is not about key literary techniques and tenses, it’s about honesty. Sugarcoating sucks.

9) Don’t get too close to the industry of an activity you love. Just do the activity instead. If you love to do something, becoming involved in the politics of it all can turn sour. I’ve drifted away from countless sports and activities I loved because of being too close to the industry, and in each case it’s taken years to heal. Made a conscious decision at the beginning of the Vague Direction project to stay away from the adventure, travel, and cycling industries and it’s worked out way better.

10) Most of the things you own aren’t necessary. When was the last time you used that Zip Drive? Time and happiness are far better measuring sticks than a collection of things or a currency.

11) “There are two ways to build the biggest building in town. 1. Build the biggest building in town. 2. Tear down all the other buildings around you.” Be genuinely happy for people when they win and make leaps in life. Jealousy, cynicism, bitterness are a disease and you should avoid them. Choose the first way, not the second.

12) Sometimes walking away to clear your head is necessary, and isolation is an easy way to find creativity and recharge, but for most people the best memories are those that are shared. Perhaps not the most hardcore but certainly the fondest. There’s vast amounts of worthwhile things to do on your own, but shared experiences will always rise to the top.

13) The grand, big, ambitious missions are the best missions.

14) Make it clear from the outset what’s important to your lifestyle and use that as a pillar. One of the most important things for me at the moment is being able to work remotely from anywhere with an internet connection. Find out the things most important to you and build them in to your path now rather than attempting to add them as a pillar later.

15) The winner is the one who stays in the game the longest. Failure and the long-haul is awesome, it means you’re doing it, you’re trying. Get to know people who have failed more times than they’ve succeeded, because it’s easier to learn that way. There’s no luck involved in the victory if it comes after failing ten times.

16) Understand how you operate and embrace it. I do the best work late, into the early hours, when it’s quiet. Others are up before sunrise and they do best before the day begins. Others crank the tunes to get in the zone. You can try and adapt your system but if you always fall back into your old ways, your body and mind is telling you something.

17) When it rains, suck it up. It’ll stop raining soon. Even if it starts hailing, snowing, lightning or literally raining labrador puppies and siamese hairballs, blue skies are on the way. Time heals all wounds. In three months you’ll laugh about it.

18) Laugh a lot. Some of the shittiest situations can be fixed, or at least softened, with laughter. And movement. Steal Jimmy’s catchphrase and keep your chin up. And make steps forward even when they seem to be leading nowhere.

19) Routine and persistence is more likely to produce results than a single lightbulb moment. Recognise the difference between should and must.

20) Stop worrying about what people think, and don’t try to please the majority. Brene Brown advises to have a short list of people whos opinions you care about. This seems like good advice. You don’t need everyone to like your work, just a very small subset of people who love it.

21) “Good artists copy but great artists steal” – you’re a wise dude Pablo P-dog. I hate the word artist because it conjures up pretentious imagery of berets and palettes. But what he’s saying applies to much more than that. There’s no need to be totally original all the time. People make stuff so that you will use it. Steal. Whoever made it wants you to. They won’t mind. Steal the building blocks so it frees up energy to make something that only you can make.

22) Always deliver value, and always be kind. Because it’s the right thing to do and a nice thing to do. Plus you never know when you’ll need to ask the Karmic-gods for help.

23) Ask for help. People want to help. People want to mentor. People want to see other people grow and grow themselves. It might seem brave to go it alone but it won’t be as easy, or as good compared to if you ask someone. Plus, they’ll get a lot out of it too, so don’t think of it as taking. Often, by asking, you’re giving.

24) You have access to the best mentors in the world. Try to access them face-to-face by providing them with something that no-one else bothers to give them. If you’re doing it right, they’ll initially say no. Take the no, send them an idea that will help them, and be unlike everyone else so they say yes. And if they really are impossible to access, it’s OK because the internet will let you learn from them regardless.

25) Everyone feels like a fraud. No-one really knows what they’re doing. Roll with it. And don’t be intimidated by any individual person who tells you anything different because intimidation is not real and you’ve just invented it in your head.

26) Make sure you keep the people who energise and lift you around you. Help them. All the time. Help them tackle their obstacles. Keep in touch with them, even when they’re on the other side of the world.

27) Politely eject anyone who brings you down. This includes gossipers, those who don’t understand about or have any ambition, and those who belittle other peoples choices. Not worth your time. Sometimes it’s necessary to cut ties.

28) Policies, procedures and rules have often been designed by Sir Jeremy Jobsworth and should be taken with a grain of salt. But when you mess up, which you will, apologise and move on. The good thing about mistakes is that you’ll remember them and they won’t be mistakes again. It’s much easier learning from experience than theory, and it’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

29) Being rejected is awesome. It’s a hurdle. Hurdles filter out the people who aren’t willing to find a way over them from those who are. Take the rejection, and then figure out a way to jump the hurdle. Copy Jessica Ennis.

30) If you can’t work in a hoody, or go to meetings in a baseball hat, eat lunch outside, or say ‘rad’ and ‘awesome’ a lot, even though you dream of being able to do all that, then something is wrong.

31) “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said a faster horse”, Henry Ford. Listen to other peoples opinions, but don’t always assume they’re right.

32) Dogs & Cats.
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Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.

6. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily thought:
Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs

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True Home Remedies
1. Drinking two glasses of Gatorade can relieve headache pain almost immediately — without the unpleasant side effects caused by traditional “pain relievers.”

2. Did you know that Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?

3. Before you head to the drugstore for a high-priced inhaler filled with mysterious chemicals, try chewing on a couple of curiously strong Altoids peppermints.. They’ll clear up your stuffed nose.

4. Achy muscles from a bout of the flu? Mix 1 Tablespoon of horseradish in a cup of olive oil. Let the mixture sit for 30 minutes, then apply it as a massage oil, for instant relief for aching muscles.

5. Sore Throat? Just mix 1/4 cup of vinegar with 1/4 cup of honey and take 1 tablespoon six times a day. The vinegar kills the bacteria.

6. Cure urinary tract infections with Alka-Seltzer. Just dissolve two tablets in a glass of water and drink it at the
onset of the symptoms. Alka-Seltzer begins eliminating urinary tract infections almost instantly — even though the product was never been advertised for this use.

7. Eliminate puffiness under your eyes….. All you need is a dab of preparation H, carefully rubbed into the skin,
avoiding the eyes. The hemorrhoid ointment acts as a vasoconstrictor, relieving the swelling instantly.

8. Honey remedy for skin blemishes… Cover the blemish with a dab of honey and place a band-aid over it. Honey kills the bacteria, keeps the skin, sterile, and speeds healing. Works overnight.

9. Listerine therapy for toenail fungus… Get rid of unsightly toenail fungus by soaking your toes in Listerine mouthwash. The powerful antiseptic leaves your toenails looking healthy again.

10. Easy eyeglass protection… To prevent the screws in eyeglasses from loosening, apply a small drop of Maybelline Crystal Clear nail polish to the threads of the screws before tightening them.

11. Coca-Cola cure for rust… Forget those expensive rust removers. Just saturate an abrasive sponge with Coca Cola and scrub the rust stain. The phosphoric acid in the coke is what gets the job done.

12. Cleaning liquid that doubles as bug killer… If menacing bees, wasps, hornets, or yellow jackets get in your home and you can’t find the insecticide, try a spray of Formula 409. Insects drop to the ground instantly.

13. Smart splinter remover… just pour a drop of Elmers Glue all over the splinter, let dry, and peel the dried glue off the skin. The splinter sticks to the dried glue.

14. Hunt’s tomato paste boil cure… cover the boil with Hunt’s tomato paste as a compress The acids from the tomatoes soothe the pain and bring the boil to a head.

15. Balm for broken blisters… To disinfect a broken blister, dab on a few drops of Listerine… a powerful antiseptic.

16. Heinz vinegar to heal bruises… Soak a cotton ball in white vinegar and apply it to the bruise for 1 hour. The vinegar reduces the blueness and speeds up the healing process.

17. Kills fleas instantly. Dawn dish washing liquid does the trick. Add a few drops to your dog’s bath and shampoo the animal thoroughly. Rinse well to avoid skin irritations. Goodbye fleas.

18. Rainy day cure for dog odor… Next time your dog comes in from the rain, simply wipe down the animal with Bounce or any dryer sheet, instantly making your dog smell springtime fresh.

19. Eliminate ear mites… All it takes is a few drops of Wesson corn oil in your cat’s ear. Massage it in, then clean with a cotton ball. Repeat daily for 3 days. The oil soothes the cat’s skin, smothers the mites, and accelerates healing.

20. Vaseline cure for hair balls….. To prevent troublesome hair balls, apply a dollop of Vaseline petroleum jelly to your cat’s nose. The cat will lick off the jelly, lubricating any hair in its stomach so it can pass easily through the digestive system.

21. Quaker Oats for fast pain relief…. It’s not for breakfast anymore! Mix 2 cups of Quaker Oats and 1 cup of water in a bowl and warm in the microwave for 1 minute, cool slightly, and apply the mixture to your hands for soothing relief from arthritis pain.

22. If you send this to 15 people and only one of them doesn’t know about this, then it was all worth it.
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Pretty Cool, Useful Information!
Sealed envelope – Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed. (hmmmmmm…)

Use Empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.

For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dishwashing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won’t refreeze. (wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)

Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. Comes off with little effort (elbow grease that is!).

Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt BLUE!) rubbing alcohol on paper towel.

Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. After years of having to throw away rusted and unused and smelly
pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical.

And now a box of S.O.S pads last me indefinitely! In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way!

Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! Now, where to put the body?

Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don’t wash windows on a sunny day.

They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.

Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.

Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.

Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.

To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!

To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop.

Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won’t be any stains.

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness.

Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Don’t throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Left over wine?

To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.

Ants, ants, ants everywhere. Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march.

Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.

When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer. Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets; wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous China.

Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka Seltzer tablets.

Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka Seltzer Tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, and then run the hot water.

Ants Problem: Ants hate cucumbers. Keep the skin of cucumbers near the place or ant hole.

To get pure and clean ice: Boil water first before freezing.

To make the mirror shine: Clean with sprite

To remove chewing gum from clothes: Keep the cloth in the freezer for an hour.

To whiten white clothes: Soak white clothes in hot water with a slice of lemon for 10 minutes

To give a shine to hair: Add one teaspoon of vinegar to hair, then wash hair.

To get maximum juice out of lemons: Soak lemons in hot water for one hour, and then juice them.

To avoid smell of cabbage while cooking: Keep a piece of bread on the cabbage in the vessel while cooking.

To avoid tears while cutting onions: Chew gum.

To boil potatoes quickly: Skin one potato from one side only before boiling.

To remove ink from clothes: Put toothpaste on the ink spots generously and let it dry completely, then wash.

To skin sweet potatoes quickly: Soak in cold water immediately after boiling.

To get rid of mice or rats: Sprinkle black pepper in places where you find mice or rats.
They will run away.
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Quick Kitchen Cleaning Tips
1. A Blender Cleaning Secret
Family physician and author Jill Grimes has a great tip to clean the blender. ‘After you pour your drink, take the pitcher straight to the sink. Put in a little water and a drop of dish soap, put it back on the blender, and turn it on for 20 seconds. Rinse it out and you’re done.’

2. Microwave Cleaning Shortcuts
The quickest way to clean a microwave oven is to place a handful of wet paper towels inside and run it on High for 3-5 minutes. You don’t need a science lesson to know that the steam from the towels will soften the grime. Once the paper towels cool down, use them to wipe the oven’s interior.

3. A Quick Coffee Pot Tip
The glass jug that comes with a coffeemaker can quickly develop a brown, blotchy haze – especially when you leave it on for long periods of time. For the quickest cure, you will need some ice, salt and a lemon. Fill the empty jug a quarter full of ice. Cut the lemon into quarters and squeeze two of the quarters into the jug. Add 2 tablespoons of salt. Swirl the mixture in the jug for 2 minutes and the inside surface will quickly come clean. Rinse under the tap.

4. Clean a Cast-Iron Pan
Most cooks know that you should never use liquid soap on a cast-iron pan and never scrub it with anything abrasive if you want to maintain its well-oiled nonstick surface. So how do you clean it? Use salt. If the pan will not rinse clean with water and a soft dishcloth, rub it with a few tablespoons of salt and a paper towel, and rinse. Then replenish the oil film by coating the inside surface with a dab of cooking oil.

5. A Coffee Grinder Trick
Run a small handful of uncooked white rice through the coffee grinder, especially if you use it for grinding anything other than coffee beans. Most coffee experts advise against using your machine for grinding dry spices since the smells from grinding ingredients, such as cinnamon sticks and dried basil, are nearly always impossible to get out.

6. Cheese Grater Tip
Keep a clean pastry brush handy for removing every last remnant of grated food left behind in the tiny grates. It works like a charm on both sides of the grater.

7. Disinfect the Garbage Disposal
Deep clean and deodorize a waste disposal unit by grinding ice cubes made with half vinegar, half water.

8. Coffee Cup Saver
Remove coffee stains from china cups by scrubbing them with equal parts vinegar and salt.
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More Useful Information
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair.
2. Pam cooking spray will dry your nail polish.
3. Cool Whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes.
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE; it will also condition your hair.
5. Elmer’s Glue – paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads, if any.
6. Shiny hair – use brewed Lipton Tea.
7. Sunburn – empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath.
8. Minor burn – Colgate or Crest toothpaste.
9. Burn your tongue? Put Sugar on it.
10. Arthritis? Use WD-40 spray and rub in, it helps with insect stings too.
11. Bee stings – Meat Tenderizer.
12. Chigger bite – Preparation H.
13. Puffy eyes – Preparation H.
14. Paper cut – Crazy Glue or Chap Stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals).
15. Stinky feet – Jell-O!
16. Athletes’ feet – Cornstarch.
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails – Vicks vapor rub.
18. Kool Aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet (Wow, and we drink this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint, also use Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as finger paint. Your kids will love it and it won’t hurt them if they eat it.
20. Peanut Butter – will get scratches out of CD’s! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper.
21. Sticking bicycle chain – Pam no-stick spray.
22. Pam will also remove paint and grease from your hands!
23. Peanut Butter will remove ink from the face of dolls.
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with Cornstarch and watch them slide on.
25. Heavy dandruff – pour on the Vinegar.
26. Body paint – Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour into an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice.
27. Tie Dye shirt – mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the t-shirt and soak.
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping – a large bottle of Club Soda and cup of Milk of Magnesia, soak for 20 minutes and let dry. It will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD’s!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste.
31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton Salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax – Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. – rub with Peanut Butter!
34. Baked on food – fill container with water get a Bounce paper softener and the static form the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also, you can use 2 Efferdent tablets, soak overnight.
35. Crayon on the wall – Colgate toothpaste and brush it!
36. Dirty grout – Listerine.
37. Stains on clothes – Colgate.
38. Grass stains – Karo Syrup.
39. Grease stains – Coca Cola, it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries.
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax – sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer, add a little Clorox or 2 Bayer aspirin, or just use 7-up instead.
42. Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week?
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie. They are Monday = Blue, Tuesday = Green, Thursday = Red, Friday = White and Saturday = Yellow. So if today was Thursday, you would want a red twist tie; not white, which is Fridays (almost a week old).
The colors go alphabetically by color Blue – Green – Red – White – Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new everyday. Enjoy fresh bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.
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Before you read to the end, does anybody know what the main ingredient of WD-40 is? WD-40 who knew? ‘Water Displacement #40′ The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and de greaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a ‘water displacement’ compound. They were successful with the fortieth formulation, thus WD-40. The Convair Company bought it in bulk to protect their atlas missile parts.

1. Protects silver from tarnishing.

2. Removes road tar and grime from cars.

3. Cleans and lubricates guitar strings.

4. Gives floors that ‘just-waxed’ sheen without making them slippery.

5. Keeps flies off cows.

6. Restores and cleans chalkboards.

7. Removes lipstick stains.

8. Loosens stubborn zippers.

9. Untangles jewelry chains.

10. Removes stains from stainless steel sinks.

11. Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill.

12. Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing.

13. Removes tomato stains from clothing.

14. Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots.

15. Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors.

16. Keeps scissors working smoothly.

17. Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes.

18. It removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

19. Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

20. Gives a children’s playground gym slide a shine for a super fast slide.

21. Lubricates gear shift and mower deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers.

22. Rids kids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises.

23. Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open.

24. Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close.

25. Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards in vehicles, as well as vinyl bumpers.

26. Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles.

27. Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans

28. Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons, and bicycles for easy handling.

29. Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly.

30. Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools.

31. Removes splattered grease on stove.

32. Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging.

33. Lubricates prosthetic limbs.

34. Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell).

35. Removes all traces of duct tape.

36. Folks even spray it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.

37. Florida’s favorite use is: ‘cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers.’

38. The favorite use in the state of New York , WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.

39. WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a little on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. Also, it’s a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.

40. Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately and stops the itch.

41. WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.

42. Also, if you’ve discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re wash. Presto! The lipstick is gone!

43. If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start.

P.S. The basic ingredient is FISH OIL.
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Coffee Filters
Coffee filters, who knew! And you can buy 1,000 at the Dollar Tree for almost nothing.
1. Cover bowls or dishes when cooking in the microwave. Coffee filters make excellent covers.
2. Clean windows and mirrors. Coffee filters are lint-free so they’ll leave windows sparkling.
3. Protect China Separate your good dishes by putting a coffee filter between each dish.
4. Filter broken cork from wine. If you break the cork when opening a wine bottle, filter the wine through a coffee filter.
5. Protect a cast-iron skillet. Place a coffee filter in the skillet to absorb moisture and prevent rust.
6. Apply shoe polish. Ball up a lint-free coffee filter.
7. Recycle frying oil. After frying, strain oil through a sieve lined with a coffee filter.
8. Weigh chopped foods. Place chopped ingredients in a coffee filter on a kitchen scale.
9. Hold tacos.. Coffee filters make convenient wrappers for messy foods..
10. Stop the soil from leaking out of a plant pot. Line a plant pot with a coffee filter to prevent
the soil from going through the drainage holes.
11. Prevent a Popsicle from dripping. Poke one or two holes as needed in a coffee filter.
12. Do you think we used expensive strips to wax eyebrows? Use strips of coffee filters.
13. Put a few in a plate and put your fried bacon, French fries, chicken fingers, etc on them.
Soaks out all the grease.
14. Keep in the bathroom. They make great “razor nick fixers.”
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How To Get A Warning, Not A Ticket
If you get stopped by a policeman or trooper, a ticket that jacks up your car insurance bill is the last thing you want. Here’s how to avoid one.When you see flashing lights in your rear view mirror, take a deep breath. The next few minutes could make all the difference when your next insurance bill arrives.State troopers and police officers have 100% discretion. They can write you a ticket, or they can give you a warning. They can write down exactly what their radar gun shows, or they can write down a number that will lower your fine and reduce the number of points on your license.

If you have been pulled over, your immediate fate is in the officer’s hands — and so are your future insurance premiums.

A speeding ticket that qualifies as reckless driving in your state is the single worst traffic violation you can inflict on your insurance bill, according to data gathered by, with premiums rising an average of 22%. But knocked down to 14 mph or less over the limit, that hit falls to 11%.

Is my car totaled?

Is my car totaled?

Of course, the best way to keep your insurance from going up at all is to keep the ticket off your record in the first place.

To increase your chances of a receiving a warning rather than a ticket:

Make it an easy stop. Pull over quickly, turn your interior lights on and keep your hands in sight on the wheel. When an officer approaches a vehicle, says Iowa State Patrol Sgt. Scott Bright, he or she will be looking at how many people are in the car and where their hands are.
Be respectful. If you were looking for a way to ensure a ticket, being argumentative, angry or rude is a great way to do it. “There is no guarantee that a driver will receive a warning based upon behavior,” says Colorado State Patrol Capt. Jeff Goodwin, “but it certainly helps to be respectful and less confrontational.”
Save the excuses. Law enforcement officers have heard them all, so save your sob story. Answers to any questions should be brief and noncommittal. (For example, if the officer asks if you know why you’ve been pulled over, say no, legal experts advise.) Don’t argue. This isn’t a court.

Discretion matters

Here is why you should bite your tongue.

“Every year,” says Goodwin, “the CSP (Colorado State Patrol) issues many more warnings than citations.”

In 2010, the Chicago Sun Times looked at the tickets written by the Lake County Illinois Sheriff’s Department and found huge differences among officers. One officer issued only warnings, while another was responsible for 90% of the tickets written.

Perspectives often change as troopers gain experience.

Bright recalls that as a young Iowa trooper he frequently gave drivers a break on speed, but after 22 years on the road, he now writes tickets for the exact speed. “Without fail, it would be the drivers I gave a break that were the ones that would go to court,” he says.

Anything above 80 mph is de facto reckless driving in Hawaii, North Carolina and Virginia. That threshold is 100 mph in California and Minnesota. A few mph one way or the other means the difference between a fine and losing your license to suspension.

If you were polite and honest and you kept your hands on the wheel, but you still got a ticket, remember that the law and statistics are on the officer’s side. According to the National Transportation Highway Safety Administration, 32,880 people died in traffic accidents in 2010. Speeding caused 32% of those deaths.
When to fight, when to shop

Once you’ve been stopped for speeding, several outcomes are possible: a warning, a ticket that cuts you a break or a full-fledged, license-denting traffic violation. You still have options even after the officer has handed you the ticket and told you to have a nice day.

The National Motorists Association estimates that less than 5% of drivers go to court. Spokesman John Bowman says not fighting a ticket is a mistake. “Drivers will almost always come out ahead,” he says, “either with a full dismissal or at least a lower penalty.”

You can also go for deferred adjudication, a deal that prevents the conviction from appearing on your motor vehicle record.

But once the conviction is on your record, there is little you can do to lower your insurance rates except shop for a different insurance company, says Penny Gusner, a consumer analyst with

“Insurance companies rate tickets differently,” Gusner says, “and while your current one may raise your rates 10%, another one may not raise your rates on just one minor offense or surcharge you only 5% for it.”

A minor ticket might not warrant an increase in your premium. But you could lose your good driver discount, and in some states that could bring a 20% increase in your insurance bill.
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Mosquito Relief
Mosquito Spray…Worth a tryI was at a deck party awhile back, and the bugs were having a ball biting everyone. A man at the party sprayed the lawn and deck floor with Listerine, and the little demons disappeared. The next year I filled a 4-ounce spray bottle and used it around my seat whenever I saw mosquitoes. And voila! That worked as well. It worked at a picnic where we sprayed the area around the food table, the children’s swing area, and the standing water nearby. During the summer, I don’t leave home without it…..Pass it on.OUR FRIEND’S COMMENTS: I tried this on my deck and around all of my doors. It works – in fact, it killed them instantly. I bought my bottle from Target and it cost me $1.89. It really doesn’t take much, and it is a big bottle, too; so it is not as expensive to use as the can of Bug-spray you buy that doesn’t last 30 minutes. So, try this, please. It will last a couple of days. Don’t spray directly on a wood door (like your front door), but spray around the frame. Spray around the window frames, and even inside the dog house.
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Use These Helpful Phrases If Your Flight Gets Canceled
“Operator, please connect me to customer service.” “The first thing you should do is call the airline, even while you’re waiting in line to be rerouted,” says Brett Snyder of Cranky Concierge, an air-traveler assistance firm. “This way, you’re essentially cutting the line in front of you.” To expedite the rebooking process at the major airlines, keep these numbers in your wallet (click here for a downloadable version):American Airlines: 800-433-7300
Continental Airlines: 800-525-0280
Delta: 800-221-1212
JetBlue Airways: 800-538-2583
United Airlines: 800-241-6522
US Airways: 800-428-4322“Can I get you a sandwich?” If the phone lines are jammed and you do have to speak to someone in person, “don’t forget that ticket agents have been doing this all day, and many haven’t had a break,” says Snyder, who says that offering a sandwich or coffee can help differentiate you from other demanding customers.“What about Rule 240?” No longer an actual rule, this term refers to the airlines’ “contract of carriage.” Terms vary among airlines, but “most major airlines have to take your ticket and endorse it toward the next available flight, even if it’s a competitor’s,” says Peter Greenberg, author of Tough Times, Great Travel ($10, One caveat: You can’t take advantage of this if you checked bags.
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50 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do
Self-reliance is a vital key to living a healthy, productive life. To be self-reliant one must master a basic set of skills, more or less making them a jack of all trades. Contrary to what you may have learned in school, a jack of all trades is far more equipped to deal with life than a specialized master of only one.While not totally comprehensive, here is a list of 50 things everyone should know how to do.

1. Build a Fire – Fire produces heat and light, two basic necessities for living. At some point in your life this knowledge may be vital.

2. Operate a Computer – Fundamental computer knowledge is essential these days. Please, help those in need.

3. Use Google Effectively – Google knows everything. If you’re having trouble finding something with Google, it’s you that needs help.

4. Perform CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver – Someday it may be your wife, husband, son or daughter that needs help.

5. Drive a Manual Transmission Vehicle – There will come a time when you’ll be stuck without this knowledge.

6. Do Basic Cooking – If you can’t cook your own steak and eggs, you probably aren’t going to make it.

7. Tell a Story that Captivates People’s Attention – If you can’t captivate their attention, you should probably just save your breath.

8. Win or Avoid a Fistfight – Either way, you win.

9. Deliver Bad News – Somebody has got to do it. Unfortunately, someday that person will be you.

10. Change a Tire – Because tires have air in them, and things with air in them eventually pop.

11. Handle a Job Interview – I promise, sweating yourself into a nervous panic won’t land you the job.

12. Manage Time – Not doing so is called wasting time, which is okay sometimes, but not all the time.

13. Speed Read – Sometimes you just need the basic gist, and you needed it 5 minutes ago.

14. Remember Names – Do you like when someone tries to get your attention by screaming “hey you”?

15. Relocate Living Spaces – Relocating is always a little tougher than you originally imagined.

16. Travel Light – Bring only the necessities. It’s the cheaper, easier, smarter thing to do.

17. Handle the Police – Because jail isn’t fun… and neither is Bubba.

18. Give Driving Directions – Nobody likes driving around in circles. Get this one right the first time.

19. Perform Basic First Aid – You don’t have to be a doctor, or genius, to properly dress a wound.

20. Swim – 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered by water. Learning to swim might be a good idea.

21. Parallel Park – Parallel parking is a requirement on most standard driver’s license driving tests, yet so many people have no clue how to do it. How could this be?

22. Recognize Personal Alcohol Limits – Otherwise you may wind up like this charming fellow.

23. Select Good Produce – Rotten fruits and vegetables can be an evil tease and an awful surprise.

24. Handle a Hammer, Axe or Handsaw – Carpenters are not the only ones who need tools. Everyone should have a basic understanding of basic hand tools.

25. Make a Simple Budget – Being in debt is not fun. A simple budget is the key.

26. Speak at Least Two Common Languages – Only about 25% of the world’s population speaks English. It would be nice if you could communicate with at least some of the remaining 75%.

27. Do Push-Ups and Sit-Ups Properly – Improper push-ups and sit-ups do nothing but hurt your body and waste your time.

28. Give a Compliment – It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give someone, and it’s free.

29. Negotiate – The better deal is only a question or two away.

30. Listen Carefully to Others – The more you listen and the less you talk, the more you will learn and the less you will miss.

31. Recite Basic Geography – If you don’t know where anything is outside of your own little bubble, most people will assume (and they are probably correct) that you don’t know too much at all.

32. Paint a Room – The true cost of painting is 90% labor. For simple painting jobs it makes no sense to pay someone 9 times what it would cost you to do it yourself.

33. Make a Short, Informative Public Speech – At the next company meeting if your boss asks you to explain what you’ve been working on over the last month, a short, clear, informative response is surely your best bet. “Duhhh…” will not cut it.

34. Smile for the Camera – People that absolutely refuse to smile for the camera suck!

35. Flirt Without Looking Ridiculous – There is a fine line between successful flirting and utter disaster. If you try too hard, you lose. If you don’t try hard enough, you lose.

36. Take Useful Notes – Because useless notes are useless, and not taking notes is a recipe for failure.

37. Be a Respectful House Guest – Otherwise you will be staying in a lot of hotels over the years.

38. Make a Good First Impression – Aristotle once said, “well begun is half done.”

39. Navigate with a Map and Compass – What happens when the GPS craps out and you’re in the middle of nowhere?

40. Sew a Button onto Clothing – It sure is cheaper than buying a new shirt.

41. Hook Up a Basic Home Theater System – This isn’t rocket science. Paying someone to do this shows sheer laziness.

42. Type – Learning to type could save you days worth of time over the course of your lifetime.

43. Protect Personal Identity Information – Personal identity theft is not fun unless you are the thief. Don’t be careless.

44. Implement Basic Computer Security Best Practices – You don’t have to be a computer science major to understand the fundamentals of creating complex passwords and using firewalls. Doing so will surely save you a lot of grief someday.

45. Detect a Lie – People will lie to you. It’s a sad fact of life.

46. End a Date Politely Without Making Promises – There is no excuse for making promises you do not intend to keep. There is also no reason why you should have to make a decision on the spot about someone you hardly know.

47. Remove a Stain – Once again, it’s far cheaper than buying a new one.

48. Keep a Clean House – A clean house is the foundation for a clean, organized lifestyle.

49. Hold a Baby – Trust me, injuring a baby is not what you want to do.

50. Jump Start a Car – It sure beats walking or paying for a tow truck.

Check out these books for more ideas on pertinent life skills:

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5 Do-It-Yourself Emergency Roadside Repairs
The sickly sweet smell of hot coolant is never a good sign. It typically signals that a hose is blown and that your car isn’t going anywhere, bad news when you’re, say, on the side of the road somewhere in rural South Dakota and you have no cell phone reception. In such an emergency, you have two choices: Wait for a tow truck or a good Samaritan to pass by, or fix the problem yourself. With just some basic tools and ingenuity, you can be rolling again quickly. Click through for tips and temporary solutions to five common problems that could leave you stranded on the roadside.

Tool Kit
Roadside repair is easier with some basic tools and supplies. Pack a compact tool kit from CruzTools, for instance. It’s designed for motorcyclists, but its 9-by-6-inch case fits in a glove box or under a seat. It comes with a handy set of tools that includes a pair of small locking pliers, plus a length of soft wire and a flat roll of duct tape. To this, we would add wire snips, tie wraps, a good multitool with a sharp knife, Rescue Tape and electrical tape, a rag and a flashlight.

Broken Window
Duct tape and a plastic trash bag can cover a broken window until you can get it repaired. If available, use a 3-millimeter “contractor” trash bag, which is three times thicker than a typical garbage bag. Cut the bag to fit the window frame. Secure the top edge with tape, then put a length of tape on the bottom edge and try to pull it taut before sealing it down. If it’s tight, it will last longer and make less noise. Then tape down the sides.

Blown Radiator Hose
If the radiator hose blows toward the end of its length, it may be possible to unclamp the hose, cut that portion off, put the clamp back on and reattach the hose. Otherwise, patch the hose by wrapping it with self-fusing silicone Rescue Tape, which can withstand pressure to 700 pounds per square inch and temperatures to 500 degrees Fahrenheit. Let everything cool down first, and then wipe the hose so the tape gets a better bond. You’ll want to top off the radiator with a 50-50 mix of antifreeze and water, but water will do in a bind.

Dragging Exhaust
The sparks look cool at night, but a dangling pipe could catch on the roadway and be torn completely from the car, along with other, more costly parts. The exhaust system usually is suspended from the car with rubber hangers, which can dry out over time and break. They can be easily replaced with some stout wire — a coat hanger is classic. Let the exhaust cool down before you work. Be sure your wire is not touching moving parts, such as the drive shaft, and do not attach it to brake lines or electrical wiring.

Blown Heater Hose
About the size of a garden hose, the heater hoses carry coolant from the engine to the heater core, located on the firewall or under the dash. They can deteriorate, fail and spew coolant. If a heater hose blows near its end, try to cut off the hose and reattach it. If you don’t have Rescue Tape or the fitting has failed, simply cut the hose at the firewall, bend it over in the middle like you are kinking a garden hose, and secure it with tie wraps. You’ll need to do this to both hoses. Now coolant will stay in the engine. Top off the radiator ASAP.

Stuck Lug Nuts
You can’t change a flat tire if the lug nuts are stuck, whether due to corrosion or a grease monkey who torqued them on too tight with an impact wrench. The first trick is to position your lug wrench parallel to the ground and pointing to your left, and then stand on it. Your weight will often break the nut free. If that doesn’t work, put a 10-inch section of water pipe over the end of the lug wrench. It’ll extend the wrench handle and give you more leverage.
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Other Uses for Vodka - Amazing!
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13 Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

And silly me! I’ve only been drinking the stuff
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The Cheat Code To Life
Sneaky tricks, workarounds, and creative rule-bending to outwit the chumps and get what you want.

Persuade Friends to Do Stuff for You
You and a friend are going to a party. You want her to drive; she says she’s exhausted. How do you get her to take the wheel? Simple. Just swipe a few tricks from that Best Buy salesman who got you to purchase a 75-inch flatscreen—and left you thinking it was your idea all along. These techniques, culled from sales gurus who would prefer that you buy their book or six-DVD set, will have your pals willingly doing your bidding in no time. —SARA BRESELOR

1. Solution Selling
How salespeople use it on you: They’ll frame the product as something that solves a problem. Every time a salesperson asks for background info—Is this cabinet part of a larger remodel?—they’re looking for a problem their product can solve. How you’ll use it on your friend: “I know you’re tired, but if you drive, you’re in charge, and we can leave as early as you want.”

2. Provocation-Based Selling
How salespeople use it on you: They’ll target your vague underlying angst. You bring your car in to get the brakes checked and the mechanic offers to detail the interior to get rid of “that moldy smell.” How you’ll use it on your friend: “You do look exhausted, and those cocktails aren’t going to improve the bags under your eyes. Are you sure you don’t want to drive so you don’t end up overdoing it like last weekend?”

3. Strip-Lining
How salespeople use it on you: They’ll agree with you in a way that makes you feel insecure about your decision. You tell a salesperson you can’t afford that outrageously fancy digital camera, and instead of pushing it, he says, “Yeah, you probably don’t want something this extravagant. This is a camera for someone who wants professional quality. You can probably get by with a point-and-shoot.” How you’ll use it on your friend: “You’re right. You’ve been strung out lately. I’ll drive so you can get as crazy as you want.”

Have It Your Way
Your life would be a lot simpler if it weren’t for other people. But don’t fret: There are products out there that’ll help you override their preferences—so long as you’re OK with being a jackass. —Rachel Swaby

Bill Hader’s Pro Tips: “If you want to get into Stanford, just lie on the application. Under ethnicity, check ‘Self-Driving Car.’ ”

Take Back the TV: Ninja Remote ($20) 
Your favorite bar suddenly started running the other team’s games. Stay on your stool: This little gizmo can hijack almost any television. Complete the takeover by pressing the “jam” button, which will block anyone else from reversing your decision.

Beautify the Neighborhood: Seed Bombs ($6) 
 Don’t let that hideous weed patch next door put your property value in the toilet. Toss some of these seed sachets over the fence and wait for rain—with enough flower-starters, the blooms just might hide your neighbor’s negligence.

Take a Stand at 35,000 Feet: Knee Defender ($22) 
Stop sacrificing your patellas to inconsiderate flightmates. To conserve the last bit of personal space in the sky, clamp a set of Knee Defenders on your tray table and prevent the chair in front from reclining. Sorry, 14A!

Bring Mr. Fluffy Anywhere: Service Dog Vest ($33) 
Make every day Take Your Dog to Work Day and go everywhere—the coffee shop, the grocery store! How? Simply dress him in a vest that just happens to be bright orange and slap on a “Service Dog” patch. VIP status: confirmed.

Prepping Is for Dummies
coff all you like at those bunker-decorating, gold-bullion-hoarding, food-cache-having doomsday preppers, but when the S hits the F (as preppers like to say), the unprepared masses are goners. That includes you—unless you’re prepared to maximize your postapocalyptic scrounging. —James McGirk

• Bodybuilding stores are a good, nonobvious source of food. You can avoid the looting mobs at the mini-mart, and those protein bars keep forever.
• Squeeze extra life from expiring batteries by warming them in your shirt before use. A little stack of quarters can be used to upsize your C batteries to fit in that D-cell Maglite you found.
• Yacht clubs are a potential gold mine of emergency rations, water filtration systems, tools, hand-cranked radios, flare guns—and wind-powered transportation.
• Can of tuna packed in oil + string + nail = emergency lamp.
• Disinfect water by filling clear plastic soda bottles and leaving them in direct sunlight for six hours (two days if it’s cloudy).
• A latex condom makes a mean slingshot.
• Dryer lint is a great fire starter. Roll it into a ball and coat with Vaseline. What, no matches? Fill that condom with water and use it as a lens to focus the sun’s rays on your lubed lint.
• If you need to self-medicate, skip the locked-down pharmacy and head to the vet’s office. Doggy diazepam = Valium. Names that end in “-cillin” = antibiotics.
• If you see a medical supply store (or an unwatched locker at the hospital), grab a set of doctor’s scrubs and a stethoscope. People will think twice before shooting a doctor. Bean them with your scumbag slingshot, grab their provisions, and sail away.

Make That Study Stick
Many a budding scientist has found themself one awesome result from tenure and unable to achieve that all-important statistical significance. Don’t let such setbacks deter you from a life of discovery. In a recent paper, Joseph Simmons, Leif Nelson, and Uri Simonsohn describe “p-hacking”—common tricks that researchers use to fish for positive results. Just promise us you’ll be more responsible when you’re a full professor. —MATTHEW HUTSON

Create Options Let’s say you want to prove that listening to dubstep boosts IQ (aka the Skrillex effect). The key is to avoid predefining what exactly the study measures—then bury the failed attempts. So use two different IQ tests; if only one shows a pattern, toss the other.

Expand the Pool Test 20 dubstep subjects and 20 control subjects. If the findings reach significance, publish. If not, run 10 more subjects in each group and give the stats another whirl. Those extra data points might randomly support the hypothesis.

Get Inessential Measure an extraneous variable like gender. If there’s no pattern in the group at large, look for one in just men or women.

Run Three Groups Have some people listen for zero hours, some for one, and some for 10. Now test for differences between groups A and B, B and C, and A and C. If all compar­isons show significance, great. If only one does, then forget about the existence of the p-value poopers.

Wait for the NSF Grant Use all four of these fudges and, even if your theory is flat wrong, you’re more likely than not to confirm it—with the necessary 95 percent confidence.
Sidestep Publisher Paywalls

The big academic publishers wrap their scientific papers in despotic paywalls. But you need that research to feed your natural curiosity! (OK, and to win a bar bet too.) Here’s how to jailbreak science without paying a cent. —Katie M. Palmer

1. Make a first sweep You’ve already gone to the publisher’s site to see if it has opened up access. No dice. So first things first: Search in Google Scholar for the full title of the paper. Do you see “[PDF]” on the right? Yay! Some blessed soul has made a copy available elsewhere.

2. Go to the source Many academics, unlike their publishers, are the thoughtful type—the type to post copies of their work online. Search for titles with “site: [theirdomain]” and “filetype:pdf.” Or just ask, by sending a brief, slightly fawning message to the author.

3. Dial a coed Most university (and some municipal) libraries offer database access or interlibrary loans onsite, so head over if you’re nearby. Otherwise, locate your most trusted young’un who’s still in school. A shared account and password should get you in remotely.

4. Engage in community There are hordes of civilly disobedient Internet dwellers just waiting to do your highbrow dirty work for you. On Twitter, post the URL of a paper with #icanhazpdf. But make sure to delete the request afterward, and don’t thank the sender by name.

5. Go incognito If a site offers a limited number of articles (news, scholarly, or otherwise) for free per month, you can easily get unlimited access. Just browse in a Chrome incognito window. Your cookies get dumped when you exit, so sites can’t recognize that you’ve been there before.

Puff Up Your Résumé—and Get Away With It
Anyone can overstate their importance on a résumé—hell, who doesn’t? To get a leg up, you need to aim higher, with a black-ops-worthy cover-up. Take some cues from this exhaustively annotated CV and you’ll slip past screening software to dupe even the most circumspect HR rep. Your corner office awaits! —Judy Dutton
Play the name game.

If a Google search for your name leads to incriminating pics, use your initials or middle name. Problem solved, guy who was once arrested for flashing a nun.
Unemployed? Not if you start your own company.

In many states, starting a company doesn’t require filing paperwork as long as your firm is named after you. For “work,” volunteer or get a hobby; no one needs to know that your job “marketing” an “enterprise” (corralling an audience for your friend’s band) is unpaid.
Tweak your titles.

If you have your own “company,” don’t call yourself “owner” or “president”—HR rarely searches for those terms. Instead, use “director of sales/operations manager” or another title that’s more relevant in the eyes of recruiters. Entry-level titles, on the other hand, need some plumping. Upgrade “tech support” to “IT systems manager,” “stock room worker” to “logistical coordinator.”
Inflate your accomplishments.

Make menial tasks sound amazing by replacing flaccid phrases like assisted on, participated in, and facilitated with more powerful words like led, designed, delivered, directed, created. Filed papers? Nope, you “supervised a department-wide reorganization project.” Killed time on Twitter? “Created social media marketing campaign.”
Let math work for you.

Set a goal—a low one, like securing three new clients a year. If you get five, you can then say you “surpassed annual sales quota by 67 percent.” Not bad for a schlub who’s only done “course work” toward a degree.
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10 Things That Should Be In Your First-Aid Kit
You’ve got the Band-Aids, the gauze, and the antibiotic ointment. You’ve got the aspirin and the Tums. Think you’re prepared for a first-aid emergency? Not a chance. Here are 10 must-haves for every first-aid kit — things you’ve probably never even considered.

You’re probably wondering why a piece of equipment you associate with camping — or losing your keys — belongs in your first-aid kit. Well, have you ever tried to treat a wound, much less apply a tourniquet, in the dark? Keep a small flashlight in your first-aid kit and another in the glove compartment of your car. And don’t forget extra batteries, stored in a waterproof container or plastic bag. Or buy a hand-cranked flashlight that generates its own power.

Hand sanitizer
The last thing you want to do is start treating an injury with dirty hands — introduce bacteria into an open wound and you can make a bad situation much worse. But in many more mundane first-aid situations, hand sanitizer comes in, well, handy. Think about handing someone aspirin or helping a child blow his nose. If you’re flying or in another situation in which a gel sanitizer is inconvenient, pack wipes instead.

Poison ivy wash
While poison oak, ivy, and sumac might not seem like red-alert emergencies, they can be pretty unpleasant — and the secret to prevention is to be prepared and act fast. When you touch these plants, they leave a toxic oil called urushiol on the skin that can trigger an itchy allergic rash within hours after exposure. Tecnu, Zanfel, and generic poison ivy wash contain patented ingredients that neutralize and remove urushiol, but they’re most effective if you use them as soon as you realize you’ve been exposed.

Water-purification tablets
Of course you always want to have drinking water on hand when you need it, but, unfortunately, sometimes it’s just not there. And if you’re immobilized by an injury and have to wait for help, lack of water can quickly complicate an already dangerous situation. While not fail-safe, water purification tablets make it safer to use water from a stream or other water source. Water can also be crucial in the case of heat-related illness, one of the most commonly overlooked emergencies.

Cold/hot packs
Whether it’s something as minor as a pulled muscle or a more serious injury like a sprained ankle, you want to be able to apply cold to ease swelling and heat to ease pain. But how to do this when you’re away from home? Stock your kit with several instant hot and cold packs (brand names include Snap Heat and Instant Cold) that heat up or cool down when snapped or squeezed.

Scissors and tweezers
If your first-aid kit includes precut bandages and gauze, you might wonder why you would need scissors, too. The answer is, you never know when you’ll need them. Scissors can cut clothing away from a wound; open a packet of medication; or cut rope, string, and even wire. Tweezers are the best way to remove thorns, splinters, insect stingers, and ticks. They can also come in handy when you need a tight grip.

Even if you don’t suffer from seasonal allergies, an oral antihistamine such as Benadryl can lessen the reaction to bee stings, mosquito bites, poison oak and ivy, and other allergic rashes and reactions. And unless you buy the nondrowsy variety, an antihistamine will work as a sleeping pill when insomnia strikes unexpectedly.

Saline solution
Getting something in your eye is a common affliction when you’re in the outdoors or engaged in a sport. Keep saline on hand to flush out the affected eye, and you’ll prevent a scratched cornea or even an infection, something you don’t want to be dealing with away from home. Saline can also be used to wash out a wound when you don’t have water available, and you can even use it as a gargle for a sore throat.

Safety pin
Most first-aid kit lists will tell you to include needles for removing deep splinters and thorns and for lancing wounds. But a safety pin can do exactly the same thing, and it serves numerous other purposes as well, such as holding bandages, wraps, or even a sling in place.

Duct tape
What? Duct tape in a first-aid kit? Yep, it’s as useful here as it is around the house. Duct tape can be used to create a splint or to tape gauze and cloth bandages in place, and it won’t come off in water like regular adhesive tape does. Duct tape is stiff enough to stabilize a sprain, and when applied directly on the skin, duct tape is a workable substitute for moleskin to prevent blisters. And of course once you have it with you, you’ll find nonmedical uses for it as well.
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