Real Men Bake

(The first recipe in the Guy Cakes From Scratch section for the Blank Canvas Cake is the one I use for most of my cakes…special thanks to Chrysta Wilson of Kiss My Bundt Bakery)

The difference between Guy Cakes and everyone else cakes is that guy cakes have too much of just about everything. This is especially true of alcohol.

Here are some tips that will help you achieve your goal of being able to sneak large amounts of alcohol into your office on Fridays while having plausible deniability so you won’t get fired.

Great Ways To Add Alcohol To Your Cakes
Just Add Alcohol:
The first way is the main reason I use bundt pans. After you take the cake out of the oven, pour 1/2 cup of alcohol (Whiskey, Rum, Brandy, Vodka, or Tequila, etc…) into a measuring cup. Take a chopstick and poke holes in the cake. Pour the alcohol into the holes so it soaks into the cake. Let the cake stay in the pan for another 15 minutes to soak up the alcohol before you flip it over onto the plate.

Alcoholic Fruit:
If you are using fruit in your cake, (raisins, strawberries, etc…), remember to soak them in a bowl of at least 3/4 to 1 cup of whatever alcohol you are going to use the night before you bake. You can use the remaining alcohol that is not absorbed by the fruit in your uncooked batter.

Alcoholic Glaze:
Mix 3/4 cup confectioners’ sugar with 1 tablespoon of alcohol or as much as needed to make the glaze just thin enough to pour over the cake after you have placed it on the cake plate.

Alcoholic Frosting
1, pt, Fresh Whipping Cream
1/3, cup, flavoring powder (sweetened cocoa or 2 1.3oz boxes of uncooked pudding powder, chocolate, strawberry, cherry, whatever flavor your going for.)
1/2, cup, Powdered Sugar
1, tsp, Vanilla Extract
1/2, cup, Alcohol (Whiskey, Rum, Brandy, Vodka, Tequila, etc…)

In a large mixing bowl, combine whipping cream, flavoring powder, powdered sugar, vanilla, & whatever kind of alcohol you are going to use. Beat with an electric mixer (on low at first, then higher speed as it starts to stiffen) until peaks form when you lift the beaters out of the mixture (About 10-20 minutes).

You might have some left over, enjoy it!

If you can think of any more ways please don’t hesitate to Leave a Reply and let me know.
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Alcoholic Guy Cake Warning Labels
In order to avoid legal issues (not to mention those awkward trips to the H.R. office when you bring your cakes into work) it is highly suggested that you put warning labels on your cakes that will at least give you plausible deniability of guilt if anything on the following warning labels comes true.
(See the Guy Cake Pics section on this web site for examples on how to use the following warning labels.)

Guy Cake Warning: Eating this cake…

…may cause the following side effects: dizziness, nausea, vomiting, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, a desire to sing Karaoke, and play Truth Or Dare.

…may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

…may be a major factor in you dancing like an idiot.

…may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them…till they hate you.

…may cause you to think you can sing…until someone shoots you.

…may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

…may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex….without spitting.

…may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

…may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you cannot remember).

…is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on your forehead, knees, and/or lower back.

…may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

…may lead you to believe you are invisible. And do something really stupid.

…may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

…may cause you to be the most wide awake drunk on the planet!

…may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to beat the crap out of you!

…may cause you to thay shings like thish.

…may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

…Just a friendly reminder, “The cake made me do it” is not an accepted legal defense in any state.

…may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a reeking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

…may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

…may cause pregnancy, STD’s, and/or that awkward silence when you wake up naked next to someone you have no memory of meeting.

…may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your, job, marriage, and/or cloths.

…may cause an influx in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time …may seem to literally disappear.

…may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

…may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

…may cause you to wonder how your underwear got tire treads on them.

…may cause you to convince yourself that you never put on any underwear yesterday to begin with.

…may cause traffic signs and cones to magically appear in your home.
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