Not Funny But Cool – Sex

Stories

The 13 Stupidest Ways People Died (Thanks To Sex)
13. Robert Giles
American tourist Robert Giles died in a Philippines hotel rooms in 2001 whilst taking pornographic pictures of a local 21-year-old woman. The 53 year-old Californian became so overly excited whilst taking the pictures that he suffered a fatal cardiac arrest.

12. Sandra Orellana
Sandra Orellana died after she fell from an eigth floor hotel balcony in Los Angeles whilst having sex with her boss, Robert Salazer. According to Salazer, they had been changing positions when she lost her balance toppled over the railing and plunged onto the concrete below.

11. Mario Bugeanu and Girlfriend
In 1999, Romanian football star Mario Bugeanu and his girlfriend were so desperate to express their passions (presumably because they forgot their country was renowned only for turnips and not lust- that’s Italy) that they made love in Bugeanu’s Mercedes Benz as soon as it was parked in his garage after a night out.
Unfortunately, in their rush to get down and dirty they did not switch off the engine and both died during their passionate romp from that notoriously unsexy passion killer, carbon monoxide poisoning.

10. Kirsten Taylor
Pennsylvanian couple Toby and Kirsten Taylor regularly used electricity as part of their sex play, but it all went horribly, horribly wrong in January 2008 when Mr Taylor accidentally administered a lethal shock to his wife with the power cord from her hairdryer.

9. Sachi Hidaka and Tomio Hidaka
A pair of 34 year old Japanese virgins who had waited more than a dozen years to physically consummate their relationship died on their wedding night. Sachi Hidaka and his wife Tomio died from heart attacks during the act as they made love for the first time. Worth it?

8. Rosa Vela
Rosa Vela, a 22 year old Peruvian woman, died from septicaemia caused by the rusty padlock on a homemade leather chastity belt that her husband made her wear whilst he was away travelling on business.

7. Hagibis Jungao
In 2002, the wife and mistress of Hagibis Jungao ran screaming into the lobby of the Dragon Hotel in Manila to get help. Both women had been making love to Jungao in Room 106 (sadly, not 69) when it all became a bit too much for the 45 year olds delicate heart.
An investigation by the Western District Police Homocide section revealed: “Viagra and the kinkiness of sex were his killers.”

6. Hannibal Cantori
Circus animal trainer Hannibal Cantori strangled his wife and then commited suicide in May 1993. According to Bucharest Police, the note he left explaining the motives behind his actions mentioned his understandable horror at walking into a stable one night, and seeing his wife being pleasured by a horse.

5. Eduardo Cristomar
After a wild night of drinking in August 2002, a group of male friends from Antipolo City in the Philippines challenged each other to show their manhood to determine who had the biggest penis of the group.
When Eduardo Cristomar laughed at the size of his pal Arnel Orbeta’s penis, the rightfully enraged Orteba took out a gun and shot him six times in the head and groin.

4. Simon Burley
If you’re going to push the boundaries of sexual experimentation, it’s always worth checking that your equipment is working properly. Bondage lover Simon Burley, 38 years old, put a noose around his neck whilst lover Elizabeth Hallam pretended to be a neo-Nazi hangman. Unfortunately, he gave her a blunt knife which couldn’t cut him down before he was strangled to death in April 2007.

3. Frank Burton
Can anyone ever really be too old for a bit of perversion? Widoer Frank Burton, 85, of Hampshire, UK, was found dead in 2004, two months after indulging himself in an autoerotic asphyxiation sex game. He choked to death by gagging himself with a rubber bathing cap and was found with a long piece of string tied around his gentials.

2. Anita Harold and Richard Lang
An amorous couple having sex in the back of their cars were so engrossed in their passion that they failed to escape when the vehicle rolled into a river. Anita Harold, 34 years old, and boyfriend Richard Lang, 30 years old, died when their car plunged into Beverley Beck in East Yorkshire in November 2002. They had previously told friends that they enjoyed going to remote places for alfresco sex.
Police did not rule out the possibility that they had been murdered, but had no proof. So, did the bouncing of their car during their heated lovemaking lead to their deaths or was the car pushed by an unknown killer? We may never know.

1. Jimmy Ferrozzo and Theresa Hill
The Condor Bar in San Francisco earned a place in American history as the first officially sanctioned topless dancing bar in the United States of America. It also had another ridiculous claim to fame: as the location of the most ridiculous sex-caused death ever to have occurred.
The club featured a white baby grand piano that was lowered from the ceiling every night. A dancer would climb onto it through a trap door in the ceiling to make a grand entrance. After the bar had closed one night in November 1983, bouncer Jimmy Ferrozzo and dancer Thereas Hill decided to make love atop the piano. During their sex session, they managed to accidentally start the hydraulics that raised the piano. Ferrozzo was crushed to death between the piano and the ceiling whilst the deeply traumatised Hill was trapped for several hours below her lover’s body until the janitor found her in the morning.
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Sex Gadgets of the Rich and Shameless
RealDoll factorySex sells. A lot. Put aside all the exciting teledildonics hype for a second and remember that the old-fashioned sex toy industry is valued at $15 billion and growing. And if you believe sexuality counselor Ian Kerner, sex toys have now gone mainstream. Sure, most women in the U.S. — and nearly half of all men — have used vibrators, but what’s really eye-catching is the sinformation that some sex toys “are considered luxury items… beautiful, artsy, and – in some cases – costing thousands of dollars…”

Thousands of clams for a sex toy? In an effort to verify this claim, and save you, dear reader, from having to walk alone down some of dingiest, grimiest back-alleys of the Internet, or travel to one of those SoHo sex shops with a bell on the door, I have scoured the web on my own to find the most costly schwing bling in the world. I haven’t tried these out per se, but I have seen photographic proof that they work. (Just don’t tell my wife.)

Little Steel Tonight$2,000
What happens when the former front-man for the Eurythmics partners with high-end adult novelty boutique, Jimmy Jane, to create the ultimate in sophisticated seduction? Apparently: “a lifetime of vibrations, encircled with written inspiration and 28 black diamonds.”

LITTLE STEEL TONIGHT

While I’m not entirely sure how LITTLE STEEL TONIGHT creates “the perfect accompaniment to the handwritten chorus from Dave Stewart’s song,” at least it also comes with a guitar pick — you know, because presumably you’ll be playing a lot of solos.

If sleek and discreet isn’t really your thing, for a single extra Benjamin, you can partake in the timeless pleasures offered by Extreme Restraint’s pricey paraphernalia-to-nail-ya:

The Shockspot Robotic Fucking Machine$2,100
Robotic Fucking Machine

The name alone is enough to bring discerning customers to climax, but with a tagline like, “The Shockspot Fucking Machine lets you program how you want to be pounded!”, you know that quality control won’t be an issue. Which is good, because this thing is about as complicated as the space shuttle, with just as much potential for disaster should anything go wrong. “The Shockspot produces motions that are impossible for rotary-based fucking machines to perform,” reads the brochure. But don’t they know we’ve upgraded to touch tone fucking machines?

You can control the stroke length, speed, smoothness and pattern at the touch of a button. The system instantly responds to your commands through the Touch and Feel software installed on your PC, laptop computer or palm button. You have the option of selecting pre-programmed routines or creating your own using our intuitive point and click programming page. Store and share your programs with other Shockspot users over the Internet. Save your programs with easy to remember names of your choice and recall in seconds.

Aside from launching you into the stratosphere of the social sexual Internet, the Shockspot Robotic Fucking Machine screams class and sophistication.

But if you’re less about class and more about ass (and have three-and-a-half large to drop), you, too, can own a piece of mythical carnal history:

Betony Vernon Unicorn Butt Plug$3,475
Unicorn Butt Plug

Now, I could begin this section with a Harry Potter-inspired joke along the lines of, “I knew that Ron Weasley was a little too distressed when the Whomping Willow broke his Unicorn-hair-core wand during his second year at Hogwarts,” but that would be incredibly distasteful. It would also be irrelevant since, despite the name, “this beautifully crafted butt plug is made out of silver and horses [sic] mane.” I mean, seriously? Horse mane? What happened to truth in advertising! Betony Vernon has clearly lost his way.

Fortunately, when it comes to full disclosure, this next poonanny product puts us right back on track — nomenclaturally speaking, that is. Introducing the:

Thrillhammer Sex Machine$3,595
Thrillhammer Sex Machine

The name pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? You’ll get thrilled. You’ll get hammered! (Frankly, you should probably get hammered before you get thrilled, but that’s just one writer’s opinion.) Either way, I think we can all agree that “This isn’t just an investment for your sex life this is also a great new piece of furniture.” Amen, brother. Can’t wait to show it off to the in-laws! “Hey there, Pa-in-law. How would you and Ma-in-law like to swing by tonight and see our new living room set?”

Oops, mocked too soon. Apparently its ability to go incognito really is considered a selling point:

A state of the art retro chair with adjustable head rest, handles that tuck away, stirrups that come on and off or can swing all the way around for another position or to appear like a normal chair when the folks are in town, a vibrating and thrusting machine that is also detachable if need be, air compressor, handheld control to independently adjust the dildo stroke speed and vibrator stimulation, and last but certainly not least – instructions!

Hopefully the instructions aren’t written by IKEA, since I imagine this is something you really don’t want to assemble incorrectly. In fact, why bother with toys that require assembly at all when — for the price of a used car — you can buy your very own sex doll to ride in instead!

RealDolls – $6,499
RealDolls

Don’t worry if you think Betty here is a butterdollface (“Her doll body — wowza! But her doll face…”), because the female RealDolls feature the patented Face-X System, which allows you to have multiple interchangeable faces for one body. Just think how turned on you’ll get ripping off your plastic girlfriend’s faces one at a time while you try to decide which lifeless eyes you’ll stare lustfully into tonight at your pleasure dome in the Uncanny Valley.

Naturally, RealDolls also feature a 7″ deep mouth cavity, optional removable inserts for ease of hygiene and maintenance, “and a new line of faces and bodies to be added to the RD2 collection throughout the coming years.”

Feeling icky yet? How about just plain broke? Either way, I hope you saved enough money for one final fun-time thrill-frill:

INEZ$13,500
INEZ

The least threatening body bauble on the list, “The Most Exclusive Vibrator Ever Created” will nonetheless set you back a cool couple of RealDolls thanks to its 24K gold-plate finish. Sure, it’s expensive, but keep in mind that a) recent research indicates that couples who enjoy vibrators have happier sex lives and b) it’s covered in gold.
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Public University Plans Event To Help Female Students Achieve Orgasm
The University of Minnesota – Twin Cities (UMTC) is set to hold an event this spring designed to help its female undergraduate students achieve more and greater orgasms.

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A promotional poster for the event says it is all about “sexuality and pleasure.”

The university’s official online description of the event entitled, “The Female Orgasm,” describes it as open to both male and female students.

“Orgasm aficionados and beginners of all genders are welcome to come learn about everything from multiple orgasms to that mysterious G-spot,” reads the description posted on the school’s official events calendar.

“Whether you want to learn how to have your first orgasm, how to have better ones, or how to help you girlfriend, Kate and Marshall cover it all…” it adds.

“Are you coming?” it asks.

The description of the event, which is hosted by the university’s Office of Diversity and Equity’s Women’s Center, does not say whether there is an age requirement. While the average age of undergraduates at UMTC is 21, it is not uncommon for students to enroll at the age of 17.

A university spokeswoman, Patricia Mattern, however, suggested there is in fact no age requirement in an e-mail statement to Campus Reform on Monday.

“This educational workshop is open to the full university community and participation is voluntary,” she said. “As a research institution, we study, publish and educate on a vast range of topics, including human sexuality.”

The program is costing the university $3,406 and is part of the university’s mission of “research,” she added.

The event is to be taught by “sex educators” Marshall Miller and Kate Weinberg. Miller and Weinberg have conducted similar programs at other universities from across the country.

Their website states their programs “use a mixture of interactive activities, lecture, discussion, multimedia, funny stories, and question and answer.”

“Nothing embarrasses us, and no topic is too basic or risqué,” it adds.

Miller previously told Yahoo News about how “amazing” it would have been to “be a fly on the White House bedroom wall during the JFK presidency” and watch the president engage in sexual escapades.
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Playboy at 60: Hugh Hefner Looks Back
The legendary publisher looks back on the first 25 years of his culture-changing creation.

Looking back over his 87 years – 60 of which have been defined by his creation, Playboy – Hugh Hefner admits it took being a workaholic during his media empire’s formative years to transform him into an icon of sexual liberation and sophisticated indulgence.

“I had been really consumed the first few years on the magazine – I had this phenomenal success on my hands,” Hefner remembers. “And I didn’t want to miss the party that I had created.”

He certainly didn’t, as is demonstrated within the pages of publisher Taschen’s lavishly illustrated six-volume collection “Hugh Hefner’s Playboy,” initially published as a high-priced limited edition collectors’ volume and only now available in an affordable consumer edition that effectively serves as both part one of the autobiography of the celebrated publisher and a chronicle of the groundbreaking first 25 years (1953-1977) of his even more renowned magazine.

Hefner, an avid scrapbook enthusiast since his formative years (nearly 3,000 volumes fill the attic of his Playboy Mansion), brings his story vividly to life with unparalleled access to both his personal and professional archives.

“The part of it that particularly pleases me is the first of the six volumes covers the formative pre-Playboy days with my cartoons and friends and girlfriends and it’s all very personal,” says Hefner, whose childhood interest in drawing his own comic strips (starring a version of himself, alternately suave and self-deprecating) and attraction to graphic design – through high school and college on into his Army service and early years as a copywriter – provides a fascinating glimpse at a publishing mogul-in-the-making.

“I was doing comic books and writing short stories and illustrating them in grade school – I think the die was cast early,” he chuckles. “You see what the first small steps that became the huge ones later on with the magazine. I was in rehearsal for what came later from very early on.

In 1952, 26-year-old Hefner had quit his writing gig at Esquire and, with $8,000 of seed money, worked feverishly to launch his own magazine venture, which would be defined by its penchant for publishing material others wouldn’t dare to touch.

“It was a younger version of what Esquire had been 10 or 20 years [earlier],” Hefner recalls of his earliest inspirations. “It was a magazine that was not allowed in my home, which of course gave it a sort of cachet and appeal. But then it changed immediately after the War: they took the pinups out, they took the cartoons out, and it became a more general interest magazine. So I saw an opening in terms of a magazine for younger men, and that was really the notion behind Playboy.”

Looking back over his 87 years – 60 of which have been defined by his creation, Playboy – Hugh Hefner admits it took being a workaholic during his media empire’s formative years to transform him into an icon of sexual liberation and sophisticated indulgence.

“I had been really consumed the first few years on the magazine – I had this phenomenal success on my hands,” Hefner remembers. “And I didn’t want to miss the party that I had created.”

He certainly didn’t, as is demonstrated within the pages of publisher Taschen’s lavishly illustrated six-volume collection “Hugh Hefner’s Playboy,” initially published as a high-priced limited edition collectors’ volume and only now available in an affordable consumer edition that effectively serves as both part one of the autobiography of the celebrated publisher and a chronicle of the groundbreaking first 25 years (1953-1977) of his even more renowned magazine.

Hefner, an avid scrapbook enthusiast since his formative years (nearly 3,000 volumes fill the attic of his Playboy Mansion), brings his story vividly to life with unparalleled access to both his personal and professional archives.

“The part of it that particularly pleases me is the first of the six volumes covers the formative pre-Playboy days with my cartoons and friends and girlfriends and it’s all very personal,” says Hefner, whose childhood interest in drawing his own comic strips (starring a version of himself, alternately suave and self-deprecating) and attraction to graphic design – through high school and college on into his Army service and early years as a copywriter – provides a fascinating glimpse at a publishing mogul-in-the-making.

“I was doing comic books and writing short stories and illustrating them in grade school – I think the die was cast early,” he chuckles. “You see what the first small steps that became the huge ones later on with the magazine. I was in rehearsal for what came later from very early on.

In 1952, 26-year-old Hefner had quit his writing gig at Esquire and, with $8,000 of seed money, worked feverishly to launch his own magazine venture, which would be defined by its penchant for publishing material others wouldn’t dare to touch.

“It was a younger version of what Esquire had been 10 or 20 years [earlier],” Hefner recalls of his earliest inspirations. “It was a magazine that was not allowed in my home, which of course gave it a sort of cachet and appeal. But then it changed immediately after the War: they took the pinups out, they took the cartoons out, and it became a more general interest magazine. So I saw an opening in terms of a magazine for younger men, and that was really the notion behind Playboy.”

At the center of the notion, literally and figuratively, was the Playmate featured in the foldout pictorial in the middle of the magazine. Playboy’s approach pushed the boundaries of the multitude of popular “girlie mags” of the day with an irresistible contrast: a greater degree of physical female exposure balanced by a more artistic presentation, creating a less “dirty,” refreshingly freer sense of sexuality.

“The concept was ‘The Girl Next Door,’ and not too sophisticated,” explains Hefner. “The premise was that beauty was everywhere – they weren’t just in Hollywood or New York. It was the beautiful girls who were selling you your suit or at the store, were in your class in college or whatever. I’m not sure that I planned it ahead of time, but I certainly saw it when we did that and we got that remarkable response. I knew that we were onto something.”

“You might think that in the more conservative 1950s, that there would be a reluctance to pose, and yet there wasn’t,” says Hefner, whose early Playmates included now-iconic pinup Bettie Page and his own secretary Janet Pilgrim. “Now, the extent of nudity in the early Playmates was limited, but the early Playmates were very nice girls and really didn’t have a problem with it.”

Yet Hefner wasn’t averse to stacking the deck in his favor on day one by featuring the first of many celebrity nudes that would grace the pages of Playboy. “We were able, with the very first issue, to pick up the nude calendar photo of Marilyn Monroe, which the public had heard about but had not seen because it could not be sent through the mail,” he recalls. “I’m the kid who didn’t think the Post Office had the right to ban nudes in the mail. There had been a court decision, which I was very much aware of, that nudity per se was not obscene. I presented it in that first issue, and of course, Marilyn Monroe in that same year became the most popular celebrity in the country.”

But even Playboy’s publisher did not foresee the seismic cultural aftershocks the magazine, both controversial and cutting-edge cool, would create throughout its first quarter-century. Beyond its celebration of free-wheeling sexuality, the magazine also featured some of the finest literature, hardest-hitting journalism and most innovative graphic design of the era.

“I could not have anticipated – no one could have – the dramatic impact that it would have in the years that followed, but it happened very, very quickly,” says Hefner. “The magazine was so unique that its influence was felt very soon. It was written about in positive ways in Time and Newsweek within the first couple of years. By the end of the ‘50s it was the magazine that was the phenomenon – and that was nothing to what lay ahead.”

On the frontlines of the sexual revolution, Playboy was poised to effect genuine cultural change, and by the end of its first decade Hefner stepped out from behind his desk, expertly cultivated his image as the preeminent savvy swinger of his day and embraced his role as a tastemaker of the times with a series of essays he called the Playboy Philosophy.

“When I started writing the Philosophy, it was only intended as a one-issue statement – and I got hooked,” he laughs. “I started writing it every month. For young people in that time frame, it was a phenomenon. The magazine in the 60s was the most popular magazine on college campuses – everybody was debating and talking about the philosophy in classes, out of classes.”

Meanwhile, the Playboy brand took root with a series of Playboy Clubs – complete with curvaceous waitresses wearing the quickly iconic Bunny suits – Playboy Casinos and Hef-hosted television projects like “Playboy After Dark,” which served as precursors for latter-day reality series like “The Girls Next Door.”

“We almost single-handedly changed the sexual mores of our time, because [Playboy] properly understood the sexual revolution provided personal freedom in a very previously hung-up society,” says Hefner, who feels assured he founded the right magazine for the right moment in time. “It’s interesting to try and contemplate what it would have been like if I’d never been around and had never started the magazine. But there were, obviously, other things going on at the same time, and one imagines that somehow, one way or the other, we’d still have wound up in some variation on the theme.”

As Playboy prepares to mark its 60th anniversary in December, the future of its once all-powerful brand is difficult to predict, Hefner admits: the current lack of the very taboo barriers it once broke down has left his media empire figuring out its future in a changing digital landscape unfettered by taboos. “You can’t reinvent the wheel,” says Hefner, whose pride in his social impact is tempered by thoughts of Playboy’s ongoing relevance. “The new generations are much more comfortable with their sexuality, and I take a real sense of celebration in terms of that. What comes later? I say why expound on things that you cannot foresee?”
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Celebrity Sex Quotes!
They said what?!
The celebrities are at it again! What did they have to say about love, sex and everything in between this week? You came to the right place to find out.

“Celebrity status pleasure is #cuming your way let’s have some fun fans:) what gets you going?” – Farrah Abraham on her new sex toy line on Twitter.

“They basically figured out that the female body is far better equipped for sex than the male body. Women can have multiple orgasms; men cannot. They’re actually the sexual athletes, not the men.” – Lizzy Caplan to GQ.

“Princess Leia from Star Wars. I actually met Carrie Fisher a couple of years ago. When I told her that she was my first crush, she insisted that we get married and have a reality show about it. I’m lucky to have made it out of that weekend without getting married.” – Joe Manganiello to Elle Magazine on his first crush.

“I thought 70 percent of the time there’d be some sort of romantic gesture. One guy said he dressed a bunch of puppies in shirts with letters that spelled out WILL YOU MARRY ME? But no, 70 percent of it is “We were at my house, we’d just finished dinner, and I was like, ‘Do you want to get married?’” I don’t know if it comes off, but I’m kind of a romantic. If I propose, it would be more than just “So…wanna get married?” – Aziz Ansari to Details.

“We were heading down this path over a bridge by a Japanese garden, and all the ducks, insects and frogs were furiously copulating around us. I feel like when our coupling is at hand, nature responds with a very positive reverberation. And I was right; she said yes.” – Nick Offerman to Playboy on how he proposed to wife Megan Mullally.

“People masturbate to me!” – Joseph Gordon Levitt on The Colbert Report

“I got no moves! I think I’m being presumptuous if I hit on a girl. There have been plenty of times when I should have asked for someone’s number but I didn’t.” – John Stamos to InTouch
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7 Of The World’s Kinkiest Festivals
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Here are seven of the world’s kinkiest adult festivals to pencil into your pocket calendar — all ranked from wholesomely virginal to downright debaucherous.
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7. Seattle Erotic Art Festival — Seattle, WA
Ease into erotica the old fashioned way (think Dad’s vintage Playboys stashed under your mattress) — by looking, not touching. Over three days, you’ll ogle provocative pieces in all mediums, as well as enjoy raunchy readings, titillating burlesque, and erotic short films; all capped off by a raucous dance party dubbed the Late Night Festival — too bad the last thing you want to do after three days of watching porn is dance.
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6. HUMP! Tour — across the US
So, your girlfriend doesn’t like you watching adult films… but what if she’s in one!? Still no? Gotcha. Well, in any case, don’t let that stop you from enjoying the HUMP! Film Festival (alone), which bills itself as the “sexiest, funnest, most creative dirty movie fest in the world”. Basically, amateur directors submit five-minute tapes of people doing sex in order to compete in categories like “Best Kink”.

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5. Nudes a Poppin’ — Roselawn, IN
The Ponderosa Sun Club, a family (run?) nudist resort, is world famous for its annual nude beauty pageant during which gorgeous women compete for the title of Miss Nude Galaxy. Mind you, this goes down in Indiana. And Ron Jeremy is a judge. That’s not all, there’s also exotic dancing, a wet t-shirt contest, a “Screaming O” competition, and a series of other random lewd acts to help make it one of the more raunchy weekend getwaways you’ll ever take. Just so you know, the woman pictured above — 4th place (!!). If that tells you anything about the competition.

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4. Sexpo — Australia
Despite the catchy name, Sexpo, The Sexuality and Adult Lifestyle Exhibition (as it’s officially known) is pretty much sex fest light; the event features amateur strip tease, professional pole dancing, and naughty hypnotists, as well as some of the biggest adult film stars in the biz. Hundreds of exhibitors peddle the latest and greatest in kinky toys.

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3. Kutemajrvi Sex Festival — Finland
Packed with the county’s foremost adult stars, the Kutemajrvi Sex Festival takes place in a stunningly scenic little village and features live bands, strip shows, exotic dancers, a sex toy expo, and the famous Aphrodite competition, which is a beauty pageant that may or may not involve nudity. Hailed as the most sophisticated of fests, there’re even professional lectures on sex and sexuality from some of the world’s top researchers in the field.

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2. Folsom Street Fair — San Francisco, CA
The world’s largest leather event, Folsom (as the locals call it) has been dominating the BDSM and fetish scene since Bolero was in theaters — ahhhh Bo Derek. Spread over 13 historic city blocks, it’s pretty much like your favorite summer block party (live tunes, games, food stalls) but with sex toys, public floggings, and people bound, gagged, and dressed in latex. If they’re dressed at all.

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1. Kinky Copenhagen — Copenhagen, Denmark
Since prostitution is legal in Denmark, the Danes had to find a way to turn the kink up a notch. With whips, chains, piercings, and strippers galore, they succeeded in creating a super-hedonistic convention ripe with booths that cater to literally any and every fantasy or fringe fetish, no matter how depraved. It’s like a wild S&M Comic Con, but with whips.
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Strangest Sex Laws In The USA
If you’re contemplating sex with a rodeo clown in Massachusetts, watch out: The long arm of the law may be coming for you. Mustachioed men, it’s probably best if you just avoid Indiana altogether. And ladies, you don’t have to put up with your lover’s bad breath anymore — in Minnesota, you are legally protected from the smell of garlic and onions.

Think these laws are weird? We’re just getting started. These bizarre rules of attraction give a whole new meaning to the term “penal code.”

Is This Your First Rodeo?
As a Massachusetts native, I think I speak on behalf of the entire Bay State when I say we’re totally OK with you having sex with a rodeo clown. As far as we’re concerned, what happens at the rodeo stays at the rodeo. We’re pretty liberal like that — a solid blue state through and through.

Wait, what’s that you say? There are horses present? Won’t somebody think of the horses?! If we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a thousand times: No having sex with rodeo clowns in the presence of horses! And we mean it! (Really, we do: It’s illegal in Massachusetts.)

Prince Charming Need Not Apply
Sleeping Beauty is so 1950s. This is the 21st century, people: Women don’t just lie around waiting for their princes to arrive! In fact, it’s literally illegal to do so in Colorado, where kissing a sleeping woman is prohibited by law. So, guys, you’ll just have to find some other way to wake her from the evil witch’s spell.

Wink, Wink
In Alabama, it’s against the law for a man to seduce “a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery, or a promise of marriage.” (That doesn’t leave you a lot of options.) But that’s nothing compared to the rules in Ottumwa, Iowa, where you can’t even wink at a pretty lady with whom you are “unacquainted.”

Maybe Next Time He’ll Think Before He Cheats
In Arkansas, adultery is punishable by a fine of $20 to $100, which is steep but hardly prohibitive. That might explain Bill Clinton’s time in Little Rock. Good thing he wasn’t governor of California, though: An illicit affair in the Golden State could set you back $1,000.

Plus, They’re Kinda Scratchy
Maybe this is why they never filmed an episode of Magnum, P.I. in the Hoosier State. Mustaches are illegal in Indiana if the owner of said facial hair “has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.” Soul patches and goatees, though? Totally legal.

Brush Your Teeth First
Is the American Dental Association behind this one? Men of Alexandria, Minnesota, be warned: It’s against the law to have sex with your wife if your breath smells of garlic, onions, or sardines. Ladies, know your rights: The law mandates that your man must brush his teeth if you request it!

Even If You’re Shooting Blanks
File this one under “weirdly specific” laws: In Wisconsin, a man may not fire a gun while his partner is having an orgasm. Welcome to the wussification of America!

The Virgin Suicides
Talk about a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma: In Washington, it’s illegal to have sex with a virgin, even on the wedding night. Surprisingly, “Washington: Once a Virgin, Always a Virgin” is not the state’s official motto.

No Shirt, No Service
In Hawaii, it’s illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks — which, correct me if I’m wrong, basically puts the entire cast of Hawaii Five-0 on the list of America’s Most Wanted. (It may also explain all the leis.) This is still better than the law of the land in Kentucky, however. In the Bluegrass State, a lady may not wear a bathing suit on a highway unless she’s escorted by at least two police officers … and armed with a club.

Bottom’s Up
In Ames, Iowa, it’s illegal for husbands to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with their wives. In a related story, the inventor of the wide-mouthed beer can may have been a husband from Ames, Iowa.
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Pictures..No not like that get your head out of the gutter

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Animal Sex

Web Sites
Celebrating Female Sexual Diversity

http://www.the-clitoris.com

Swinger Vacations
Hedonism II — Negril, Jamaica
Opened in 1976 as “Negril Beach Village,” Hedonism II (there used to be a I and III) is by far the most famous of the lot.
http://www.hedonism.com

Desire Resort & Spa — Cancun, Mexico
Desire, which also has a location in Costa Rica, boasts “sensual jacuzzi lounges,” erotic workshops, and “sexy aqua fitness.”

http://www.desiremexicoresorts.com/swinger-vacation.asp

Rooftop Resort – Hollywood, FL
This place bills itself as South Florida’s premier nudist swingers resort. So there.

http://www.rooftopresort.com

Swinger Cruises
Yup, that’s right, you can even take “the lifestyle” into international waters. Bon voyage!

http://theswingercruise.com

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